One that they reveal to the world, and one they keep for themselves.

I’m one of those people who have two sides.

NO, not those bad ones, where I’m all good and the other side is a evil side where I talk ish about people and what not…No, not those. It’s more on a personal level for me. I may seem so happy and jolly, yada yada yada, but the other side of me..is the side I don’t like showing to anyone because I don’t want to feel like a burden to them and to make them think I’m just doing it for attention and what not. It’s very difficult to explain and for me to understand as well, but i’ll try to explain it.

It’s like going out with a bunch of friends, having a good time, chilling, but there’s always that haunted side of me where I think of..”what if’s” or “why am I like this” or “dang, why am I not like this person” and it’s silly, stupid of me to think of that, but I can’t help it. It’s always there coming at me, it sure does bring me down, but I don’t want to show it because I don’t want to kill the mood. I just….I don’t know..I don’t know if it’s just a mindset of mine, or…i don’t know. This side has too many problems with life and it’s just hard to deal with at times. I sometimes catch myself so depressed, a heavy weight on my chest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a depressed person..It’s just, I guess..a missing piece. There’s really no outlet for it, but I just listen to music and I guess it makes me feel a bit better, but I just wish it was gone…
I’m sorry that this whole post is a bunch of mess and that it doesn’t make sense…but thanks, and I love you if you read this whole bunch of mess that’s in my head.